Most
D/s articles on the Internet talk about punishment in terms of spanking. “If
you do not obey, I will spank you.” But how does this work if the submissive or
slave actually likes to be spanked? Kind of like ”please do not throw me in the
briar patch.” Here we will catalogue punishments you can actually use in the
real time training of a slave/submissive.
First, Let us
start with some basic punishment principles. It is always important to gear the
punishment to the infraction. Let the punishment fit the crime. When a minor
infraction gets a major punishment, you are sending the wrong signal. Try to
administer punishment as closely as possible to the time of the infraction. In
this way the sub/slave will not only be properly and predictably disciplined,
but will also respect his/her Dominant. Never let a punishment cause injury
unless the submissive has prior requested it. Never, ever use a hard limit as a
punishment. And, finally, always start the punishment with a
lecture/explanation. There is a debate as to whether punishment sessions should
have safe words. Some allow them, others do not. It is a matter of preference,
style, how well the Dominant knows the submissive and, of course, how
experienced the Dominant is. Those Dominants who do not allow safe words should
always err on the side of safety. My feeling is that in the beginning of a D/s
relationship, use safe words all the time - in play and in punishment. As
should all novice Dominants. As the Dominant’s knowledge of the submissive - and
as the submissive’s trust in the Dominant grows - safe words can be done away
with.
There is also the
question as to whether punishment is necessary in the training of a sub/slave
at all. There is no rule that says there must be punishment in a Master/slave
or Dom/sub relationship. I can envision a slave so instinctual she needs no
punishment to serve flawlessly and surely some subs/slaves can respond
perfectly to praise alone. Different (flogger) strokes for different folks. But
as the Punishment Manual is intended only for those Doms who use punishment as
an integral part of their sub/slave training, the point is moot. There are two
sides to the discipline coin - physical punishment and mental punishment. Of
course, there is a mental component to physical punishment; so when I refer to
“mental punishment” I mean that which does not include any physical contact.
Physical punishment is the most obvious weapon in the Dominant’s training
arsenal. But the Dom’s disapproval is also a powerful weapon — as is any number
of mental punishments “the word is as mighty as the lash.” I have found that a
balanced combination of both physical and mental punishment, along with praise,
to be the most effective way to train a submissive or slave.
PHYSICAL PUNISHMENTS
1.
Find the
paddle, whip or whatever butt-beating implement that your submissive dislikes.
If he/she hates the paddle, the cane or a particular flogger in your
collection, use it. Look no further, you have found the perfect tool of
discipline. When your submissive or slave commits an infraction that requires
punishment, bring it out and administer punishment. But keep out wary eye out
for signs that the submissive is actually enjoying the “punishment.” Make sure
you do not let the submissive get into subspace. If you see the submissive
hitting “space,” stop. And tell the submissive why you are stopping. Clever “bratty”
subs have been known to misbehave in order to get a good beating. This might be
fine for role-play, but is counter-productive if you are seriously trying to
train a submissive or slave. If this is the case, switch to another form of
punishment.
2.
For very
serious infractions, severe punishment might be in order. This, of course, is
not to be attempted by beginners or those with new D/s relationships where the
dynamics are not yet established. The cane is perfect for this kind of
disciplining. A ball gag is also effective when severe punishment is called
for.
3.
Hair
pulling is a great way to get your point across, especially when verbal
disapproval accompanies this action. A good hair pulling session with a “what
did you do wrong” question and response routine is awfully effective. Hair
pulling accompanied by a swat with the hairbrush is a lesson not soon forgotten.
4.
A very
popular punishment for a mouthy submissive is the age-old one of washing the mouth
out with soap. This has worked throughout history and is a great punishment in
the daddy fantasy.
5.
Being
forced to wear a baby pacifier in public can be a reinforcing experience
wearing a butt plug and ponytail. Being made to display this toy in public at a
BDSM play party setting can be humiliating, depending on the situation.
6.
“Sensory Deprivation” is perhaps the single most
“unforgettable” punishment. Being tied and left alone - especially when ball gagged
and even blindfolded — for a period of time is another punishment the
submissive\slave will not soon forget.
7.
“Corporal
Punishment” is a combination punishment - it encompasses both the physical and
mental side. But always asked the question “Does sub/slave know why he/she is
being punished?” “Yes, Sir/Ma’am. I have shamed Master/Mistress by (reciting
offense).” You can incorporate this Q and A technique to just about any
physical punishment.
8.
A variation
on the sensory deprivation theme is being kept in a cage. Depending on the
submissive’s fears , if it is a hard
limit or control, avoid this as a punishment. This can be the one thing the
submissive fears most. A further step is to require the submissive to eat out
of the bowl, this can be quite humiliating. Again, the objective is to know and
understand your submissive or slave. If
caging, eating out of a bowl or humiliation in general is a hard to achieve on
short notice this is not a punishment you should use.
9.
There is really no limit on what you can use as
punishment. Sometimes play that is enjoyable can be used as punishment when
done in a disapproving manner or on another area of the body. For example, wax
play might be one of your submissive’s favorite activities but when applied to tender
areas it may create a different affect, in this case use it.
These are just a few examples of
the types of physical punishments that can be used when training a submissive
or a slave.
MENTAL PUNISHMENTS
1. Making
the submissive’s watch the most boring movie of all time - the incredibly boring
“Room With A View”, at one sitting with no breaks.
2. A
lecture is indispensable to the proper discipline of a submissive. It is as
important as the penalty itself. These lectures or explanations should precede
all punishments — whether physical or mental but at times can be a mental
punishment on its own. Some submissives respond strongly to disapproval. Since
the object is to train the submissive, the Dominant should not need to use
physical punishment — or more severe mental punishment — unless necessary.
3. The
parent/child model holds true in that many punishments mimic those used in
grade school. Requiring your submissive to hand write a given phrase - such as
“I will not disrespect Master in public” — a hundred times (or more) works
wonders.
4. Another
old school punishment is the classic “dunce cap” routine. There are innumerable
variations on it. Standing in the corner for a given period of time - an hour
or two, for example - is one version. Making the submissive literally wear a
homemade “dunce cap” (make the sub make it) is not only humiliating, it borders
on the totally devious. Use this latter one with care since humiliation is not
to be used for every submissive’s discipline. If humiliation is a hard to
control don’t attempt it.
5. Punishment
based on humiliation can be awesome
training tool if you have the control to make it work. Making the submissive
wear a baby pacifier in public is a humbling experience. If the submissive has
been mouthy, an entire evening without being allowed to speak will do the
trick. A very extreme humiliation - use with care - require the submissive to
wear a sign stating her offense in public. Or just make the slave watch and not
participate if he/she likes to play. Yet another one - make the sub or slave
eat out of a bowl on all fours like a dog but make sure the sub or slave does
not like this; if he/she does, use another punishment.
6. Isolation
is another mental punishment. Making the submissive stay in a small room or
closet with no link to the outside world for a couple of hours can be
maddening. And one a submissive might not ever wish to repeat. But make sure
the submissive cannot sleep through it. Standing up can make sleep all but
impossible.
7. A
less severe form of isolation - especially in the information age - is
suspending the slave’s computer, email, telephone or television privileges.
This is one form of isolation that is quite effective as a punishment.
8. Complete
sensory deprivation for a period of time is yet another variation on this
isolation theme. Ball gagged, blindfolded in a dark room - add sleep
deprivation (wake the sub/slave from time to time) and you have a totally
diabolical punishment. Use with care.
9. If
your slave is trained for housework, then punishments such as re-folding towels
that were done sloppily or being made to eat off dirty dishes that were
improperly cleaned are widely used. The “let the punishment fit the crime”
imperative is a wise one to follow.
Unique punishments you devise
yourself are the most fun and the most bonding - because they are unique to
your relationship. Just keep in mind
that even mental punishments can have their dangers. Use your imagination and
maintain a sense of what is fair, the use of mental punishment to train a
submissive or slave can be as effective as physical ones. And when used in
combination with physical ones are used the effects can be amazing. Finally, no
matter what punishments you have used, do not forget aftercare. A punishment
session can be exhausting for the submissive, both physically and emotionally.
Thus the same procedures for post-scene aftercare apply for mental punishment
sessions as well.
